Roleplay
by Ms.Funbags
Summary: House and Cuddy switch places for a week – can House be a grownup? Can Cuddy be a real doctor? No ships. Reviews appreciated!


Usual Disclaimers – I don't own any of the characters or anything mentioned, so don't bother suing me, I don't have anything you'd want :p

A little role-play never hurt anyone 

_---Dr. Cuddy, Dean of Medicine---_

CRASH!

Cuddy's assistant nearly jumped out of her skin as she heard something very heavy collide with what she assumed was her boss's desk. Not wanting to have suppressed a mild heart-attack for no reason, she peered round her desk to see Cuddy standing with her head bowed, hands firmly grasping the edge of her desk and her eyes closed, apparently counting. In front of her, a large batch of files had slid across the desk, with a few spilling onto the floor, leaving pages scattered everywhere. In stark contrast a content whistling could be heard in the lobby, which was enough explanation for the young assistant – he had been at it again. She had only been at Princeton Plainsboro for a week but already completely understood that if it weren't for one employee, her boss would not be stressed to the point of madness. She had seen Cuddy in a House-temper twice already but this was by far the worst, she actually seemed to be having to concentrate on keeping control, whatever that git had done this time, he had really pushed her buttons.

Being the good assistant, Leigh quickly made a cup of strong coffee and quietly entered Cuddy's office, "here boss, you look like you could do with a real drink but I didn't want to risk my job quite so early"

Cuddy let out a sigh, "thanks Leigh, you've been a great help so far, sorry for the racket!"

Leigh smiled and grabbed a seat across the desk "I know this is none of my business but can I ask why you didn't can him years ago?"

Cuddy shook her head, how many times had she been asked this, how many times had she tried to convince people that he really was worth the hassle? The son-of-a-bitch would push her buttons, wind her up but the next day all would be forgotten and she would just keep going. "Not that he needs the ego-boost but Dr. House is the best diagnostician in the hospital, and some would say the country, he can be an ass but without him we would have lost dozens of patients over that past few years"

Leigh nodded, "I can see he's good at his job, he just seems to make yours 10 times worse, that's all, I just think it would be good if he could appreciate your side sometimes. Ah well, old dogs eh? I'll be at my desk if you need anything"

As Leigh left Cuddy's office to go back to her work, Cuddy mused on what she had just said – and inadvertently suggested.

"_You haven't been a real doctor in years..."_

"_Her opinion is worthless"_

"_You think that compromise is the answer to everything"_

"_Doesn't matter what you say, do or threaten, I will find a way out"_

As House's barbs flitted though her mind she started to wonder what he really thought of her, did he think she just flounced around all day talking to walking chequebooks? Painted her nails maybe? Considering the number of times she has pulled him out of exam rooms with his playstation not far behind or caught him watching TV in a cupboard it dawned on her just how insulting it was that House seemed to think she had an easy ride. Maybe the old dog could do with a few new tricks after all.

---Dr House, Diagnostician---

On another floor House has happily sprawled on the floor, while the team slaved in the lab he could get some quality time with Shug. He was so engrossed that he didn't hear the authoritive clicking of heels approaching the glass door. Over the years, Cuddy had heard some strange things filtering from House's office but as she placed her hand on the door handle she couldn't quite believe the sound of barking coming from inside, surely he hasn't brought a dog into her hospital??

Ironicly, there was some relief when she found him stretched out with his DS in hand, which seemed to be the source of the barking..."Do I even want to know what you are doing rather than seeing patients?"

"Playing with Shug"

"What is 'Shug'?"

"He's not a what, he's a who, he's my Nintendog"

A puzzled look took over as Cuddy stared at this middle-aged mad lying on the floor petting a virtual dog on a screen about the size of a match-box. "Great, glad you're making such good use of your time, I was worried you were gonna be doing something other than sitting on your ass – that would be a crisis!"

"Come on Cuddy, you get to sit on your ass all day and don't get yelled at"

"Oh is that so? Well I'm glad you feel that way, because I have a challenge for you"

"Does it involve edible panties?"

Cuddy screwed up her face at his remark "Not this time, but I was thinking a little role-play"

House cocked an eyebrow, she had suddenly become more interesting than a virtual spaniel for a change

"Go on..."

"We switch jobs for one week – no catches, no ifs or buts"

"I thought you didn't want to be wasting my time?"

Cuddy let out a small chuckle "Ok, well if you last the week I'll let you off clinic for 2"

"And if for some reason you realise what a godsend I am to your hospital and come crying for your administration-fun?"

"No clinic for 3 weeks"

"Sounds tempting, I must admit"

"If for some baffling reason the mighty Gregory House can't handle it at the top and you think maybe you'd like to get back to your little dictatorship up here then you'll be getting double clinic hours for 4 weeks"

House briefly turned this over in his head..

"Done – there's nothing you can do **_I _**can't do better m'dear, except maybe the heels"

"Excellent, you'll be expected at 8 on Monday, sharp, Leigh will give you a hand getting started"

"I'm positively shivering in anticipation" A grin spread across his face as his eyes mocked her as usual.

Cuddy turned on her heel, and as she made her way back downstairs started to take into account the smaller details of what she had goaded him into, It would be fine watching him squirm for a week but could she do his job? She knew he was cruel at times but could she still be a real doctor? Time to find out.


End file.
